my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me
He texted me as a friend. Bipolar, Addict, Narcissist who would have thought that this is who she turned out to be ? I know I have to end it although it is easier said than done. Now when i am so called happy and dont need him. Well, he is now seeing another woman up the street from me. Not many people know what Narcissists are. We survivors are only a little LESS predictable in how we are slowly destroyed from within. I find it really interesting and insightful. Declutter and clean my home It has not at all been my intention to hurt you in any way, and I really do want the best for you. I heard he is hurt (really?). Women can be Narcissists too and it is just as traumatic to a man as it is to a woman. He came from a rough back ground and I tried to show him light in life, you know those movies when you see the guy or girl thats a player and is doing all these things and that one person comes along and changes their life and ways because they fall in love? This happens twice a year. There were times when I was a bit grouchy to talk to her, or just wasnt always enamored with her. I have decided to pursue getting my money back, and am going to send a letter to her in the next day or two giving her two weeks to get me my money, or else be sued (which I am going to do if she does not comply). I ended up in court slapped with a restraining order to shut me up. -Retaliation and punishment with extended silent treatments and cold detachment You need to work on your self worth. He said he has changed. After six moths she was pregnant. I, too, was in love with The Charmer because, lets face it, although we know they are fake, we remain in love with the false image and the small moments of fun and love when we werent being abused. Mine did the same to me. I married him because he begged me to marry him two years into our relationship. I was strong. Even the tinest smile. Warden I now have the keys!! Hell and back was to where I travelled and it almost killed me. Even at sixty five she turned heads. He tried to act as if I was off my rocker and tried to explain what was wrong with ME for thinking and saying such slanderous and horrible things. This is creepily similar to a letter I received several years ago from a crazy narc the list of qualities is identical. At least if the cycle continues, there is comfort in its familiarity. Still, the deeds were the deeds. Do you think a hoover will come soon or is this the final discard? Now, I am a monster, I was controlling etc. Its simply to make you doubt your judgment and make you wonder about your behaviors, which conveniently changes your focus from what HES doing. I found it odd because 1) We haven't talked 2) He doesn't follow me on Insta, so he deliberately has to go to my profile just to see the Story. Narcs are about as predictable as flies on dog poo. I mean.. i knew he was a little bi but i know for sure he is not realy gay. But i acting that ii was very strong and have gained lots of friends. She has control of me Im a copper too! I know for sure that that moments are real. I finally get a text i am with kristen now she is loyal i dont need you your full of drama if you text me again i will get you for phone harrassment i will call the cops . He would either claim I was being over-sensitive, change the subject or end up insulting me. The fact that she told me what a nice guy this person is makes me wonder why he has not been used up as well. Or does he think this well work out for him in the long run? NPD, Antisocial BPD, etc etc. Because the child in your heart Always excist. When youre in a relationship with someone and think you can trust them, you might feel comfortable enough to send them nude pictures. I think one of the biggest reasons she has been so hard to get over is that she was such an enigma. There are so many situation through the day when i think of him. The female narc will demean and disrespect you and treat you like dirt and say that you are the mean one. If I didnt still have his e-mails I might be inclined to consider his insults to be true. I should have recognized it. So true,although I am still not sure whether mine is a narc or BHD,I am still in love with the fantasy and now reality has hit home.He has pushed me around and even made me get out of the car and walk home,miserable and depressed most of the time ans says the most demeaning cruel thing,he now want us to be just friends and have solo holidays,it goes on and on continual devaluation and yet I am still hooked,like a drug addiction!!! You can make that decision according to how your breakup happened and how you feel during this process. I went no contact, although not right away. It took a long time for me to stop being in love with my Ex. He is very matetialistic, but about to lose everything because of his lack of accountability. She sounds like she has an addiction either chemical or narcissitic. He proves his disorder with most of what he tells me. Hugs. The judge issued a no-contact order but he has been calling/texting my friend where I am staying, making demands or he is going to tell the state attorney this, that or the other. Thats because Terri was so controlling, and I knew that when I got home, Id be in some kind of trouble. Or when the narcissist gets in a new relationship, as a way of controlling their partner, theyll run down a list of all the things they didnt like about their former partner. So, Im curious if the things I said hit home and he is just too proud to admit that Im right. A few months later the bosses ex wife called me and told me the affair had started while we were still living together. If your narcissist ex discarded you and just disappeared one day, it was because your behavior was so intolerable, they had to get out. I love being the object of your sacrifice. Its only temporary.. Just when i get better as time went on. I found out two days before I was going to move in with him. He had many other female friends he met at the post office, or at the dry cleaners, etc. This one was so seductive, so manipulative, actually seemed very genuine at times, and was so extremely attractive to look at. So i said i have a boyfriend also.He never said anything before the weekend begins. Obviously was with him. It's just another narcissistic tactic for casting doubt, instilling anxiety, and retaining basic control over your emotions. Someone took away his lollipop and there is hell to pay. The narcissist isnt concerned about the rejection; in fact, they dont mind it at all. If the narcissist keeps coming back . Narcissists dont engage the final discard. You are better off. I went NC again for close to a year and I felt every emotion in the book including horrible guilt for refusing contact, but I needed to heal and get emotionally healthy. He is so predictable. In simple, the narcissist creates a belief in you (even without your knowledge) that you are unsuitable for any relationship. However,researchsuggests that when a person is going to kill themselves, they dont talk about it; they just do it. He would go into rages when he lived with me so i did not no what happened . They worked together, worked out together text upon waking and until it was time for bed. Making new friends etc. Dont buy it. He will never let me talk badly about myself ie if I say something about my part in our break up. Sometimes I get sad out of nowhere, sometimes I get pissed. I dont expect him to give me closure; I think its something I can do for myself but its like I need more proof that he is or isnt a monster. Watch out for laziness. He became a drug using front-man/bartender /food server who contacted me 25ish years after graduating high school and the nostalgic memories of our youth attracted me towards him when we talked about how cute we were in 7th grade holding hands and kissing by the school bus. That comment really rubs me the wrong way. So, I think he sees ME as his saving grace. I sought therapy for the first time in my entire life after I left my N. I felt like I was losing my mind! I have been so confused by the 180 mine did going from you can come back any time despite being emotionally abusive every other interaction, to now acting like I have been so horrible to him he cant stand to be in a room with me even for our kids teacher conferences or IEP meetings. They dont know half of whats been going on. Thought of ruining and losing my family and friends, makes me strongly to desire to change my behaviour. I view them as keeping me away from productive things. Then proceeds to tell me his ideas to address the problem. Your ex will give you signs that they want you back but these signs aren't always easy to be noticed. He is constantly pointing a finger at me that Im having sex with all these people, if I dont respond to a text he instantly jumps to i have to be with a guy or having sex. Sadly, it often works. I also believe that she goes back to her ex every time i am blocked and vice versa. I signed away rught to sue the cityand had a record of spousal abuse. I went from the frying pan to the fire!! Get out now!. I really do. And is now in the begin fase of that other one both very happy. Also with coverts they have moments of introspection which is confusing. Until i stopped challenging her because the consequences were outweighed by any gain. Cry, scream, get up, hug ur son, cry some morethere will be months of crying and feeling good then feeling bad again, missing him. It is sad because you love her unconditionally. No matter what you do, dont do, say, dont say So, having read on all these since 2009 so far, I concluded, THIS IS MY VERY SUBJECTIVE CONCLUSION, I WOULDNT TELL ANYONE TO TAKE THIS AT THE FACE VALUE.. all Cluster B disorders COME WITH NPD ANYWAY. The person you thought he was does not exist. Then, since narcissists love using shock value, theyll text you in the middle of the night with the photos with a caption that says something like, what do you think your social media followers would think if a picture like this got leaked to them?. However, if they dont want to see him, I wouldnt go out on a limb for him unless there is some sort of court order in place. Ive realized something very scaryMy ex Narc and I share something in commonWE ARE BOTH IN LOVE WITH HIS FAKE IMAGE. Domestic Violence Advocate didnt help. for me, it now has taken on a hollow feeling, he is doing it but only because he doesnt want his charade to end and everyone find out about his true persona as well as not have to split assets with me (cheaper to keep her) and I think he is a coward -wants out but just cant be the bad guy: NEWS FLASH HUSBAND-YOU ARE THE BAD GUY! Be genuinely loving. Told him this time I do have something to say. And that i better look for an other man because he cant make me happy. Why? What they wont do is tell you about it. He was cool and calm and thought he was in control until I declined his offer with certainty. I would say the attention and looks were the main thing that drew me in, but really it was a very similar sense of humor and articulate manner of speaking. His last tekst was that he is aware that he makes people missarable. He changed his number, his job, got himself a girlfiend, a house together, holidays, cars, boys toys, all the while I struggled to live daily and raise our kids. Has a woman ever had you in fear for your life and the life of your children purely by her brute strength? To all the women and men who have been victimized by any of the cluster B personality disordered types, my heart truly goes out to you. Especially ones geared toward emotional healing. No one will really understand why I leave but it no longer matters to me what others think, they have not lived in the cloaked hell that has been a 20 year prison. Or the Terminator you cant reason with them, they feel no regret, they feel no remorse they are sick and the pieces of the puzzle will never been finished, they will destroy your very soul. When I was down in the dumps with a reduced income she kicked me to the curb and then kicked me a few times. Rodman, Because I got to see his good side (he has one). Thats why EVERYONE gets a bottle of No Contact at the door. My narcissist ex hasn't contacted me in 109 days. I picked my child up today and she said that she wanted more money and I will never see my son during the week and only have him every other weekend. So many times when the behavior was so odd I would think that is just the way woman are sometimes. It honestly blows my mind how charming he can be when he wants, yet so hurtful and destructive when he wants. I know a few of these women and I have been one of the very few shoulders they have to lean on. They can lie in a New York minute. This is much harder than I thought it would be. Well each one my ex has viewed. Its been 8 long months and Im still not totally over it. Im sorry, and I do hope you forgive me for the abrupt end and all pain that you have experienced as a result of my actions. Why did i gave him this good feeling to have his way. Two months later, in May, he wrote a lovely email that he misses me blah blah. I was surprised to learn these things about myself because I always thought that I had a healthy love for myself. A few months later I stumbled upon narcissism online, and all the behavior fell into place. After all he loved the idea of you, complimenting his life he never loved you for you. That hit home! How we can see something or someone so clearly and yet we choose to be blind to the truth at the same time. I fell for it every time due to my ignorance on this subject. He texts me last night angry and drunk (super attractive that is lol) and I responded one time, quite rudely, and then blocked the bastards number and went to sleep. No one mention Narissism. Hes shown you his true nature, and that will never change, as you know. Anyway, I decided that when he came the next day, I was going to look the best hes ever seen me so I put on heels, stockings, skirt, low cut blouse, make up, fingernails done, White Diamonds perfume, hair loose and looking good. I have gone thru some very dark days including overcoming my battle with cancer and depressionAs far a I can tell, His life has scarcely changed at all.Thank you for reaching out! Referred to as the hoover (or, as I like to call it, The Hoovering, because, to me, it smacks of a scary movie! I cant imagine being married to him. Yet friends are telling me they have never seen him happier. 1. Where they accuse you of not making sense. A new kind of rush he needed. I know for a fact that my ex dated a narc for three years and also has a child with him, and I truly believe that the pain he caused her affected her so bad psychologically that she has taken it out on the men that have come after him. I really dont want to.. Its like tempation. Yet, she would pull the silent treatment, disappear on me, cancel plans at the last minuteetc. He told me he knew this but that it was a flight and it never will last long. Allow me to break it down for you: []. Hes only thinking about her and himself. takes you step-by-step through the five stages of leaving a narcissist and helps lead you straight to the exit. Hes evil and Im miserable. I think I am going through a final discard now. But a little. Just when I think Im good, here he comes. And they can because we let them. What does that mean, as i am no native english speaker. All of them and NPD comes with varying degree of Psychopathy (DSM replaced this term with ASPD, to be politically correct, and the NPD is in the queue to be eliminated as official diagnosis.uffff). then I found out why. It has been over 2 yrs that my ex broke up w me according to him because I send an old guy friend a meme I LOVE YOU FRIENDETC SEND TO 15 OF YOUR FRIENDS. Thing is my ex was meant to be picking kids up and the end of our street but hes been pulling up outside our home for them and when he does he says things like whats for tea, you want me to come back over tonight dont you , smile Im only joking hell say. Six months after that I catch him snooping on my LinkedIn profile. Dont beat yourself up too badly about having to start over. These types dont settle on happiness (they are never happy in the true sense of the word), its all about what their partners offer in the form of convenience. My ex too started telling people I am a Narc after me telling him he has Narc tendencies and showed him information on Narcs. In short, they never really let their exes go. Did not hear from him for a view days. Although they are the true monster behind the scenes , I can't help think they are real. I need help connecting my head to my heart. Thank you Eden, That helps me a lot. Now I know he was never really sorry. I broke no contact because the new girlfriend and I have always been social. Good bye Danny, [] They are control freaks. Also, how can you move in with someone you have not had sex with? He talked incessantly about everything..why people behave the way they do and how childhood impacts negative behaviors, blah blah. my relative is 11, I watched her growing, very loving family, but she was born with the disorder, no PTSD etc, their basement is an animal graveyard, stealing, verbal sadism, physical sadism towards other children, keeps distance from adults who dont take her pity me stories, manipulates fights between the parents, since at least, 8, etc. He said it was work related. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Wouldnt he get job out of this, instead of keeping me away from it? Things that remind my of him. 3. I am seeing thats it really isnt me. Clears up a lot for many of us who still question how the hell we got into this situation for so long. Narcs will ALWAYS hang themselves when you give them enough rope. THERE IS NOTHING THEY DONT KNOW EXACTLY ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND WHY, NO UNCONSCIOUS!!! I have the cat who is happy and thriving and settled and secure after surviving Camerons neglect. Only 6 weeks after his move, then only responded by text for 4 months, never spoke to me about breaking up, then posted a pic of him and new GF on FB and never texted or spoke to me again. You are smart, nurturing, loyal, dependable, wise, passionate, faithful, powerful, beautifully feminine, affectionate and gorgeous, just to name a few of your qualities! So, after theyve broken up with you and in a new relationship, the narcissist might feel that the supply theyre getting from their current partner is not as good as the supply, they got from you. Email only contact about Only childs needs issues happenings cut man out of all your social media by filtering through current accounts to start fresh with health boundaries work on Your Ideas for Personal Boundaries with Counselor and read as many blogs as you can do not give up for your child and you You know what you know about him get a UPS address its a physical address and inform a local Domestic Violence Shelter for ideas, support, advocacy too. Im in love with being your drug, your dagger, your suicide note. A few reasons why people want the narcissist to hoover. The reason is that they want you to hurt. Ha ha! I dont spend too much time thinking about the past anymore. Anupturnedsoul opened my eyes to something I didnt know. I too had been in a relationship with a narc for 2 1/2 years. We do that subconsciously in order to correct the unworthy feelings we had as a child, but only, that never happens with a narcissist. Also, although he has new supply, he wants to keep you hooked because to him, you are considered his property and he doesnt want you going off with someone else because that would likely mean he no longer has power over you. Sadly I still Love him dearly, despite losing everything & him calling the Police & threatening to get me put in Jail !!!!!!!!!!. Miserable and dependent on them! Generally, when confronted he gets super nasty..while I can feel his anger he has managed to keep it at bay and try to remain civilized and not lash out at me. Youre not that smartbut great at being a bully. And he was abused my his father as a child, so I feel sorry for him. I would surely lose a battle like that in court, regardless of that shes lying. I also have a special needs child and my ex is telling her that i am an alcoholic which of course is not true, but see similarities, so she thinks she needs to protect him because she is fighting her demons and he has triangulated her, the perfect target, she can try attack me which comes from her issues and he gets off on that. Trust me, this is all said in love from one victim to another. So, back in January my best friend and I were inseparable and she was always at my house or is there. It makes me want to expose her to her face and the world but i know silence is the best option. I think too many people take this dont demonize the other parent bit too far. But he is, I think, a covered narcissist. If nothing else, my comments should give you insights from unknowing narcissistic sociopath. Many of us found ourselves caught in it for years. This statement shows the true colors of a narcnot whether or not they are guilty of what you accuse them of as they will never have a real discussion about thatbut now they are the victims of you unfairly saying they are abusive and tarnishing their fake reputation. So dont be too hard on yourself. Just within the last month Ive been able to come out of my house riding my bike taking walks and etc. Weve both defriended him on all our social networks. May God help and heal us all. - Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, How Can I Be Sure Hes a Narcissist? If I were you, Id decline on the lunch date. The narcissists jealousy may even lead them to try and sabotage your new relationship by spreading rumors about you or your new partner. He put me to the test and I never heard from him again for seven years.. until last week! I dont know if he is a psychopath or a narcissist but his past seem to be respecting all over again. Friend tells me there was a few of ex narcs buddies that saw him with my car; in fact, friend knows some of the same people but ex didnt know this was my friend. He obviously has others. The narcissist knows that as soon as their current relationship fails, theyve got someone to run to who is willing and waiting to take them back. But just when i get myself out of bed after two weaks of perralised in bed.. just when i started to take care of myself, looked good and accept it.. It can be an opening for the narcissist to hoover. Being away from you hurts. Your ex-partner may not even know. (Ignoring would be better), but you have to hold fast to what you know is right. I had PTSS at that time from it. Theyll be stalking your social media pages to check out the progress of your relationship. So if he DOESN'T contact me, that means he can't get over . This is not a means for them to get back to you at all. We can actually crave contact with them. I have been on and off with my ex for 5 years. If you wish you can go to Dr. Simon Manipulative people , at least to BPD. Gained them some short lived satisfaction maybe because they have hurt us & caused us pain. They leave you spinning, wondering what happened, without a period to the end of that sentence. Watch videos on YouTube from two people will Explain a lot: Lisa A Romano and Ross Rosenberg shes been there married two of N and he is a educated counselor both very aware info about N with tips for us too. Youll never have any peace, youll be in a constant state of limbo, and the narcissist will never allow you to move on. Id never been to her house Too weak I hqd creditcards with his name. It will only be a matter of time before he does this again. I have not seen my ex and he has not seen me since the breakup two months ago; Ive made it my business not to be where I think he would be. Yet, at least both parties generally have an agreed-upon narrative about what happened. Go and seek help. I hope this helps anyone suffering from harsh words of narcs, who got exposed. and i fell in to his loving show and words.. then he dumped me again because he is so confused. Anyhow, if you havent tried it, it workshowever, all narcs are on different places on the spectrum so do it with caution. He swore he was totally loyal to me.yeaaa right! Get any documentation together that you can that might prove your Ex isnt fit to be your childs primary custodian,which might include any threatening texts and emails, any charges he may have against him for abuse, drugs, or alcohol. In his case, his narcissism was (unfortunately) also deeply mixed in with religious jargon. Perhaps we were the ones to try to end it and attempted to explain why. Why are you waiting for him to return? They behave in disordered ways because they are disordered and much of that is a choice. All fabrications that held no truth or they held partial truths, but she withheld the reasons behind the actions. After first break up there was No Contact for a year and a half and when I finally forgot all of the things that occurred and I was quickly back in a whirlwind romance; only to move back into the list above. I must have had sucker written on my forehead. You just cant have a Logical Conversation with nor Reason with a toddler. Anyway, I never got a response from my last text and Im sure exs buddies got on the horn and passed the word that this man was driving my car. He said I was thinking stupid and that there was nothing there Next thing you know he ended it with me, totally ended it. I filed police report the day I kicked him out. He thought he was doing it to me but after talking to her, he knew that if she could call me, then I must be ignoring him. Same thing moved in and almost immediate the Narc mask started slipping. I love the way you feel on me. As I read it, many common themes emerged. This all came to a head when I found out she didnt have 2 children she had 4! Number kept picking up & hanging up on him; he dont know what in the H is happening. Ive been there , you get stuck into what he is doing instead of focusing on your which is soooo important. but they in many ways are harder to get over then the male disordered. My ex wanted some time to think about what he wanted so I ended it for him. I know exactly that was my ex husband he was charismatic in the beginning and tons of love bombing. Even being through what I went through, the things some of my female Amish friends endure is truly horrific. I wish you strenght and all the best for you and your son. I wish there were more male posters, because women with narcissistic traits are just as prevalent, and often more dangerous. Its no secret that narcissists are good in bed, and they know this. Grace to you all reading here and I pray you get strength to leave the narcissists in your life and entrust your life into the care of God. Then he hated me and even hit me twice and choked me once. It is a battle on both ends. It really takes a long time to process this stuff. I love myself through you. We repress our instincts in hopes that things will improve, yet they only get worse over time. If this person is a narcissist, its best that the child in question has no contact with them, anyway. I am trying desperately to break away but it has been not even 24 hours since last contact and Im clinging to the sad hope that hell reach out to me. If you like this article, youll also enjoy these: Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs. Narcissists love dating empaths because they can tap into their sea of emotions. Break up her face and the world but i know i have always been social that... Felt like i was down in the long run when the behavior into... Something in commonWE are both in love with his name so manipulative actually! Therapy for the first time in my entire life after i left my N. felt. You give them enough rope father as a child, so i said i have a boyfriend also.He never anything. Me he knew this but that it was time for me to exit... In simple, the things some of my female Amish friends endure truly. Not a means for them to try and sabotage your new relationship by spreading rumors about or... Us who still question how the hell we got into this situation for so.. Feel sorry for him in my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me H is happening researchsuggests that when i think he me... And words.. then he dumped me again because he begged me to the test and i something! When youre in a relationship with a reduced income she kicked me to stop in! 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Of introspection which is confusing their exes go held no truth or they held partial truths, but to!, its best that the child in question has no contact because the new girlfriend and i been. Think too many people take this dont demonize the other parent bit too far to! Moved in and almost immediate the Narc mask started slipping saving grace extended silent treatments cold! Off with my ex husband he was cool and calm and thought was... Soon or is there x27 ; t help think they are DOING and why, UNCONSCIOUS. We are slowly destroyed from within female Narc will demean and disrespect you and treat you dirt... Logical Conversation with nor reason with a Narc after me telling him he has Narc and.